Here's the second of our two-week-turnaround papers for the summer, and this batch was a breeze by comparison to the ones we did last year...probably the big difference being that we didn't have any snakes after us this year like we did last year, disrupting things and creating havoc and consternation. And while the snakes might be in existence, we find that hoes are fairly effective at beheading them...since that's what most of them are anyway....hoes...

Whatever, we've got you another great issue, and you're not going to want to miss a word of it; already, our hundreds of online readers have availed themselves of the e-Edition version, and the print version has been delivered to all vendors in all 20-plus counties, so let's hop right to Print Headlines!

Print Headlines are a way you can see what's in the print paper/at the e-Edition. They are presented here by section: Front Page, Back Page (our second front page), Pages 2 and 3, Features if any (usually presented on Pages 12 and 13), Egypt, Heartland, Central, and Op-Ed. They are laid out by dateline (where the material in the article occurred), headline, and are followed by a brief synopsis in our own snarky Disclosure style. Each headline is a link to the e-Edition article. And so now, without further ado, we present to you THIS ISSUE'S PRINT HEADLINES!

FRONT PAGE

Earl Tannahill

RICHLAND CO. - LANDLORD ARRESTED: The full (and correct) story of the arresting charges - but nothing formal yet - on Earl Tannahill, probably one of the most reviled landlords in southern Illinois, right up there with Bill Siddens and a couple of others.

SALINE CO. - Molly, Kasair signs upset Republicans: So, a lot of Republicans in Saline County have come to the understanding that the big "Molly" signs are single-name because, frankly, she doesn't know what her last name's going to be pretty soon, although she might want to make up her mind since ballots are supposed to be getting printed up. Otherwise, what the two Marchers are doing with their signs...well, it's gonna tick you off.

LAWRENCE CO. - More than enough evidence to sue county: The final installment of how one man from Bridgeport was targeted by local cops and others. If you haven't kept up with this piece, you need to be sure to get that e-Edition sub you've been wanting and READ THEM ALL.

MARION - STRIP PIT POLLUTION: The third and final installment of the horror of draining a crap-filled strip pit (and we mean that) so Doug Bradley and Marion Heights LLC, a tax collecting entity, can build more structures that are going to sink as soon as that filled strip pit settles. Just like pretty much everything on "The Hill."

HARDIN CO. - EMA under fire by critic in Hardin Co.: One guy is taking the Hardin County EMA to task because he believes they're not effective and not hiring on people who know what they're doing. Some in Hardin disagree with that. Here's both sides.

BACK PAGE

SALINE CO. - Landfill sued by AG; 'clean' and 'dirty' fill at issue: Man, when ChickenBob gets embroiled in it...he ends up being broiled chicken. And this article proves it, with the latest lawsuit to have his name attached to it has his entity, West End Landfill, as the defendant...and the Attorney General's office as complainant.

JAY GRIGSBY

LAWRENCE CO. - Man shoots self at Lake Lawrence; catches charges: And it's not just ANY man...it's repeat offender Jay Grigsby...and guess who the gf is? I mean, this was a stupid methed-up story to begin with...it just gets stupider.

ZAKKARY MEYER

LAWRENCE CO. - Attempted Murder charged: You know, there seems to just be something about Deputy Kyle Gilmore that the crims don't like; they keep trying to kill him. Allegedly, of course. We're hearing "the family would like to keep it off social media as much as possible." I guess they thought they'd keep it out of the court file, too...? dweebs.

PAGE 3

BILLY "PEEWEE" DARNELL

LAWRENCE CO. - PeeWee continues alleged welching; fuel company claims he owes more than $160,000 to them: This is the guy who was effectively stealing from the county by double-dipping: While he was on the clock for St. F, he'd also "be on the clock" for the county as a deputy, and rake in two paychecks per hour while only doing the work of one. He's a scammer, a liar, and a cheat. Now, he's been sued because in a year's time he apparently paid for NO fuel for his "trucking company," created, it appears, to give his useless offspring a job. WHO should be trusting this idiot enough to be a cop...?? I'm thinking....no one. Just...no one.

Stacey Stevens Thacker

LAWRENCE CO. - Another lawsuit filed against Thackers: It's like every time we go to produce an article about who has sued the Thackers this past month, another one is filed before we get to press. Here's a word of advise to all doing so: You're not going to get anything out of these people; give up.

EGYPT

SALINE CO. - Car window shot out at Wooded Hills: Tempers flare at one of the burg's most popular eateries/bar.

HARDIN CO. - Elizabethtown man charged with stealing head: And guess what kind of a head. Just guess. Down in Hardin, it could be any number of critters.

SALINE CO. - Practical nurse charged with taking patient's pills: It happens all over. You can't get reliable help these days, especially in the healthcare field, thanks to Obama.

SALINE CO. - McDonald's meltdown dude runs with dope: Lil Mikey Billy whatever he's going by these days Cummins is back in the headlines. With his no visible means of support going on, still.

SALINE CO. - Violent brain-fried punk charged with beating his grandfather: And it's so sad what the old guy says, too, when asked why his grandson does what he does.

SALINE CO. - Two charged with driving while license revoked or suspended: The driving report out of Saline.

HARDIN CO. - Dueling Orders of Protection from the Mabrey camp in Rosiclare: It's a he said-she said, but like on steroids.

CHANEL NELSON

SALINE CO. - Cocaine features prominently in catfight case: Lots of catfights going on in Saline County lately...and if it's not over a guy, it's over dope. Sometimes, both. And you GOTTA know that if Chanel Nelson is involved, it's over the latter.

SALINE CO. - Cleaning lady charged with ID theft of 60+ year old man: This is kind of an unbelievable story...but it happened.

SALINE CO. - Rent One pursues criminal charges for unreturned merchandise: Really, you can't keep that Rent One stuff and not pay for it. They'll march right into your house and get that stuff.

SALINE CO. - Man who bloodied wife's face found with meth: Which might account for the bloodied face...just sayin.

SALINE CO. - Elkville man tried out the Phil defense: One would think that some of these practiced crims would come up with a more viable story than "Phil was driving and I don't know where he went." But...the entertainment value of that defense is high, I gotta say.

SALINE CO. - Saline County: Catching up on misdemeanors: The misdemeanor report is always amusing. this one is no exception.

GALLATIN CO. - Lame duck comes through, files charge in truck damage case: Allen Roe makes a mockery of our article about him in the last issue. Hey, if this is what has to be done in order for the people of Gallatin County to get justice, so be it, ya know?

HEARTLAND

Charity Murphy, from her Facebook page

CLARK CO. - Unbelievable: Park District employee has to loan money to district to keep checks from bouncing: All I can say about this is...when the AG's office finally comes down on these people, we're all going to be so astonished that the collective intake of breath will just drain all the water from the "lovely" lake at the apparently so-badly-misrun-that-they-literally-are-broke Mill Creek Park.

EDGAR CO. - Man wrongly convicted remains in jail while Court officials wrestle with procedure: Edgar County has a history of screwing over innocent people. Why stop now...?

CRAWFORD CO. - Robinson woman is suspected drug dealer in two separate cases: Cops got themselves a bonus with this one.

CRAWFORD CO. - Oblong drug felon squares off with meth charge: See what I did there, with the play on words with the shapes...? Well, it made my wife laugh, at any rate...

CRAWFORD CO. - Well-rounded representation of reprobates: The misdemeanor report out of Crawford is, as usual, a little mind-boggling.

CRAWFORD CO. - Too young to drink or too stupid to know?: Some of these kids just want to be adults too fast.

CRAWFORD CO. - Reported crime that didn't happen: Which will get you in trouble every TIME.

JASPER CO. - Old meth felon busted with pot pipe: We have a saying around here - "Old enough to know better." Some are, some don't.

CENTRAL

Darren Frank, in a 2010 mug from Clay County

CLAY CO. - Sailor Springs man said to have delivered drugs near churches on three occasions: I'm sure that most Clay Countians remember this guy, the one who was at the wheel of the truck that Amber Mahon "jumped out of" in March of last year. Well, now he's busted for dope. Maybe the truth will finally emerge.

RICHLAND CO. - Cessna chick from Sumner joins ranks of accused dopers: And wouldn't you know it, she's the most recent nasty sig oth of the even nastier Jonathan Trout....

From Darcie Lakins' Facebook page

WHITE CO. - Lady who loves Jesus music enters guilty plea in theft case: And she imploded her Facebook page, too, but we already got everything off it. Hint: Implode your Facebook page AFTER you steal and BEFORE you're charged. That way, we don't find one.

RICHLAND CO. - Calhoun man accused of beating female housemate and convicted drug felon: Just right up the road from our abode, actually...for a small town, it sure has a lot of crim activity. But I guess nothing like Claremont.

EDWARDS CO. - Former councilman's son caught with Molotov Cocktail, police say: And believe it when we tell you...purt near everyone in north Edwards is intimately familiar with what an explosive device is. Just sayin.

BRIAN K. HIGGENBOTTOM

WHITE CO. - Sex offender nabbed after thieving spree at Walmart: Not enough that he's a perv, no. He has to add this to his resume.

LAWRENCE CO. - Bridgeport man charged with strangling family member: This guy perpetually shows up under the violence category...

COTY BEEHN

EDWARDS CO. - Edwards having a busy misdemeanor month so far: August was a bad month for Edwards County crims, as so many of them got caught. We threw a couple of felonies in here too, since they were amongst the same crims.

LAWRENCE CO. - Pair of forgery cases focus on cashed checks: Well how ELSE are they going to get their dope in Lawrence if they don't forge checks???

LAWRENCE CO. - Crim graduates from dope to arson: Which, in Lawrence, is kind of a natural progression of things.

CLAY CO. - People old enough to know better fighting in the streets of Louisville...and other strange little charges: Actually..ALL of these people featured here should know better. Let's be honest about it.

WHITE CO. - Drug dealer goes berserk in his Carmi apartment: But we're pretty certain someone will step up and justify it, because he probably "had a bad childhood" or something.

HAMILTON CO. - Convicted weed dealer fresh from prison charged with dope: See? Marijuana isn't a gateway drug. Dealers are the gateway, not the dope.

WABASH CO. - Mt. Carmel repeat offender Brimming with violence: Read the article. You'll know why the "B" is capitalized.

WHITE CO. - White County parolee escapes home confinement by cutting off his ankle bracelet: Even more info about Earl the Squirrel, originally from Fairfield.

HAMILTON CO. - Pearl Street man accused of yanking woman out of a chair by the hair: Because he's a real Neanderthal, what most young punks these days aspire to be.

RICHLAND CO. - Olney man charged with trespassing in a house he says he lives in - Dope found: Way to go, Olney, repping the RC...

WABASH CO. - Man busted seven days after sentenced for drugs: Because that happens frequently in WabCo, dontchano.

WHITE CO. - Bootcamper goes off the reservation instead of reporting for transport: I think the headline says it all.

WHITE CO. - Benton woman charged with burglarizing Carmi City pole barn: Repping Benton, for all our fine readers there (lots of new subscribers): Maybe you all know why this chick did what she's alleged to have done. WE can't figure it out.

RODGER L. PIXLEY

WABASH CO. - Wife divorces husband over broken jaw: Well....I would, too.

HAMILTON CO. - Police say Broughton drug dealer restrained woman: Seems to be a lot of Unlawful Restraint going on out of HamCo lately.

WHITE CO. - Carmi man jailed for beating girlfriend: General White Co crimes against persons report.

RICHLAND CO. - Serial revoked river arrested for DUI: DUI report out of Richland County.

WHITE CO. - Mt. Carmel man jailed for injuring White woman: White County general crim report.

OP-ED

COLUMNS

SURLY & UNCOOPERATIVE (Jack): From gloom and doom to a trip down Fleet Street
ICY (Ang): Things I've learned in the 14 years doing this
MINKUS INK (Bubba): Music: Use it, but don't abuse it, please...

Voice of the People (Letters): Letters to the Editor: More penned from the pen about broken system / Benton has cut off noses to spite faces / Needs a back issue at the East St. Louis federal pen / Political candidates and destroying banks / Public sentiment begins to show regarding Dale… / More Nowakowski, more reform